Tuesday, 18 November 2008

• Fifteen Things I Wish My Boyfriend Knew

  Before I begin this list, I want to express that I love my boyfriend with all my heart. This list is not designed to criticize him, but to help out other boys who may come across it. As I am relatively new to Datingish, I am aware that there are probably several of these lists already in existence but I wanted to compile my own personal list. If it helps you, great. If you think it's subpar, no harm done, right?

  1. I LOVE wearing makeup. I understand that you prefer that I go without it. But I don't wear it to impress you. I wear it because I love to wear it.
  2. If I look particularly nice on any given day, tell me. Chances are, if you notice a positive change in my appearance, I worked harder than usual to look good and will appreciate the recognition. And if I didn't go out of my way to look good, the compliment will mean that much more.
  3. Show me off to your friends. I want you to be proud of me and nothing means quite as much as knowing that you'll break your tough guy facade in front of your friends to kiss me or brag about how utterly awesome I am.
  4. Text me for no particular reason. I'm not asking you to flood my inbox with meaningless "Hi"s or "What's up?"s. But, on occasion, an unprovoked message asking how my day's going will earn you major boyfriend points.
  5. If you notice that I'm becoming irritated with what you're doing, stop doing it. This seems like a given, but I cannot count the times that my boyfriend has continuously ignored my requests to stop poking me until I finally flipped out. I understand that you have an inner seven year old that you have trouble surpressing sometiems, but if I tell you to stop poking me and you continue to do so, you lose your privilege to call me unreasonable when I then give you the silent treatment.
  6. I don't like PDA. It doesn't mean I don't love kissing you. I get irritated when people are making out in the middle of a store or on a crowded bus or at a park. So I won't do it either. It makes me uncomfortable so please don't act hurt when I pull away.
  7. Be a tiny bit jealous. If  you notice another guy checking me out or if you think someone's flirting with me, make mention of it later on. I'm not saying to cause a scene or be possessive, but I like to know that you notice things like that.
  8. Dance with me. If we're at a function (i.e. a wedding) and everyone's up dancing, ask me to dance. I don't care if you're a terrible dancer. When guys refuse to dance, they seem insecure and it reminds me of awkward middle school dances where all the boys stood against one wall and the girls stood against the other. I promise no one else will even notice but it will mean a whole lot to me.
  9. Ask me for help with something I'm good at. Men love feeling useful, but they oftentimes don't realize that women love it too. I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person, so if you ask me the capital of Finland or how to spell "Antidisestablishmentarianism" it will give me the same gratification you get when you get to fix my car or kill the big, bad spider in my bathroom.
  10. Take the reins. I know that I love being in charge and I appreciate that you recognize that by giving me full control of our social calendar. But once in awhile, I would love to be able hand over the power to you and have you know what to do with it. This goes for the bedroom, as well.
  11. My histrionic tendencies do mean something. Sometimes, I feel a little neglected. It's not your fault. But I do expect you to fix it. If I seem a little whiny or I milk a minor headache for all it's worth, I want you to cater to me and spoil me a bit. I don't do this often and I don't expect to be taken care of all the time, so it will mean more if you notice when I'm cying out for extra attention.
  12. I want you to support me. I understand that I'm a dreamer and not a doer. I've been that way my whole life. So when I claim that I'm going to go back to school/get a new job/tell off my boss don't roll your eyes or tell me that I won't. I'm nearly all talk but that talk helps me deal with the bad situations I'm in. You know I'm probably not going to do it, I know that I'm probably not going to do it, but telling me so will just turn my annoyance from my crappy job to you.
  13. Putting yourself down is not attractive. I know I call myself fat sometimes and complain about my hair, but I'm doing it because I'm female and I'm conditioned to believe that if I don't look like Paris Hilton, I'm ugly. I've been dealing with these insecurities all my life and rarely voice them so just ignore me if I do (never agree with me). I think of this as a very feminine practice, so when you do it, it's not a good thing. I understand that you have flaws and I promise that I very rarely, if ever, notice them. So the only way to make me aware of anything that's wrong with you is to call attention to it.
  14. Call me old fashioned; I expect you to offer to pay for me sometimes. I'm aware that this is the 21st century and that women can be CEO of major companies and run for president. But I can't help it. Usually,I'll pay for myself anyway, but the offer makes you seem chivalrous.
  15. Love me for me. I have my eccenticies and flaws and I fully expect you to accept them, if not find them adorable. I hate having anyone touch my feet, I make up words whenever I feel like it, I talk way too fast when I'm excited or nervous, I sing to myself and often don't realize I'm doing it, and I don't share red Starbursts. If these trivial things are enough to send you on your merry way than it's your loss.

  So, there you have it. Fifteen things that I wish my boyfriend knew. Thanks for reading!

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